Tuesday, October 21, 2003
TUESDAY BRIEFING
10-21-03
ALL glory to God in Jesus Name!
May
May
May
Amen?
COMPLETED
Told all four men about the slip. I asked them to hold me accountable.
Paul often wrote that it was good to boast about his weaknesses so that the power of Christ might rest on him. That is such a non-macho thing to do. But the ways of God are above our ways.
Obviously I have feet of clay, like all mortals. I have told friends that when I first responded to the call of God on my life to enter ministry, I assumed that ministers had zero troubles. There never mentioned any in the pulpit or privately. My excessive transparency may in part be a reaction to the common practice of ministers never admitting any problems.
For the first time I visited a ministry to the homeless called SOUL Ministry Outreach. They preach the Word and feed the people each Sunday morning from 6:30 to 8:00. It is just south on City Hall in downtown Dallas. Pray for God to guide me as to my possible future involvement with them.
About half the 3 by 5 index cards that were cluttering my desk for weeks have been put into the appropriate software for the PDA and project management. I look forward to using this technology to help me stay on FOCUS.
Started a free train membership with 24 Hour Fitness. This will help to combat depression, computer/reading fatigue as well as general good health. I find that it is often after midnight that I want to exercise.
CURRENT
There are a FEW more critical pieces that must come together to publish audio messages over the web. EVERY step has been difficult lately. Soon I will upgrade my Homestead account so I can receive donations. I will buy the rights to the name www.ears2hear.net I will then sign up with Word Audio so that I can track the usage of each message. I will soon buy mikes to go with the new digital recorder. THEN the bridge will FINALLY be complete. I can record a testimony in the morning, edit it on my computer in the afternoon and publish it that evening. I would send out weekly or monthly email alters to those that want to hear testimonies from the mission field and what God is doing in the lives of those preparing for ministry. In a pinch, it is possible for a short message to go from someone’s mouth to ears around the world in less than an hour.
UPCOMING
Recently set Christian counseling appointments for 10/31 and 11/10 to address the porn issue. Pray for these times to be anointed.
I have been shopping for a church for a few weeks. It was refreshing to visit one last Sunday that is so committed to missions. May God guide my steps in this exploration.
My finances are more stretched than EVER. Pray for God to make a way for ends to meet in the coming weeks. I need special provisions and guidance as to who to ask.
IMAGES
It was like a football team that is on the four yard line and goal to go. I am close to the goal but the opposition is all the more determined.
It was like Ulysses in chapter XII of the Odyssey. The Sirens attempt to lure him to danger. But he escapes their ploy.
It was like Darth Vader trying to recruit Luke to the Dark Side.
It was like getting tangled up with Tar Baby. Casual play led to a sticky mess.
RESOURCES
Are you ready for maps of ALL kinds? http://plasma.nationalgeographic.com/mapmachine/
Top quality photos http://www.nationalgeographic.com/photography/
Here are some excellent free downloads from Master Media http://mastermedia.org/msg4.htm
I have recommended this video on the DTS collection (number 504) to many men. Here is an excellent educational video about the addictive nature of porn.
A Drug Called Pornography by Martin Kove www.adrugcalledporn.com
Again the Bruce Wilkerson video for individual or groups of men is Personal Holiness in times of Temptation It is also in the DTS collection as number 589 http://store.walkthru.org/merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=CTGY&Store_Code=WTTB&Category_Code=PH
John 9:07 PM
Sunday, October 19, 2003
Special Report
PROGRESS REPORT
10-19-03
Many have told me that they have been praying for me. THANK YOU very much. I expect that those that replied to the email and met me in person is a sample of the dozens of others. So I feel compelled to give a progress report.
So often others and I ask for prayer but do not tell of how God has begun to answer those prayers. Let me keep you up to date because there has been progress. But winning a few battles does not mean that the war is over.
Again let me say THANKS for your prayer two thousand fold. Without the spiritual support of gracious persons like you, I would be sucked down that rat hole again and again. The enemy wanted me to keep the ugly secret. The misadventure lasted for less than two weeks. It took up more of my time, energy, thoughts and feelings. I was drowning in spiritual darkness. I could not just pray I needed to call on the Body of Christ.
Sexual fantasies are my Achilles’ Heel. I can eat all the ice cream or cake I want -- and never go over board because that is not my area of vulnerability. When people cut me off on the freeway -- my blood pressure remains the same. I just do not have a hot button there.
First of all let me report that I did activate the parental controls. Let me clarify that while I did not want to get more input yet l still needed to deal with the previous exposures. Normally when I attend any movie or watch a video the visual memories reoccur to me for the next few days without my needing to try. If I especially enjoyed the movie then I can replay key scenes or an abbreviated version in my head at will. Fortunately this ability dissolves after a few days. So the graphic images of the tour of the porn sites has been coming as flash backs with less frequency.
I know from previous experience that the stimulating text stories can come back after years. Mostly they need to be sought in a weak moment. But the enemy can offer a juicy temptation anywhere and anytime 24/7.
TACTICS
Let me share a few tactics that the Holy Sprit has reminded me of and recently taught me anew. My weakest times are when falling asleep and waking up. When I am half awake and half asleep is when I have stumbled and fallen the most. However if during the time of temptation I turn my body (like head or legs) then the internal battle is suddenly ended. I have begun to turn my head when awake and under assault.
During the seasons of greatest temptation I have fallen asleep while listening to the Bible on tape.
The enemy wants to use my vivid imagination for his unclean purposes. So sometimes (when I have the strength of will) I have just sent him packing by intentionally visualizing the emerging ministry when it is fully mature.
Another tactic is to say in my mind I take this thought captive to your obedience Jesus. That ends the downward spiral of thoughts.
There are moments when ALL I can do is call on the name of Jesus. When done honestly and earnestly is ALWAYS the trump card. This is like dialing 9-1-1. God’s help arrives ASAP.
It is always effective to choose to thank God for specific blessings and to praise Him for who He is. However, amidst hand-to-hand kind of combat, that can be easier said than done.
Staying busy serving Jesus is both good by itself and as a way to prevent slipping into areas of temptation. Idle hands truly are the devils workshop.
Being brutally honest with a few trusted friends prevents spiritual darkness from leading to self deception and isolation. I have already told a two men and I will tell two more this week. I am very fortunate to have such wonderful men in my life. Unfortunately most men live in unhealthy isolation.
Bruce Wilkinson spoke at a Promise Keepers rally about these matters years ago. He was so well received that he was invited to many pastors and denominational conferences. He made an excellent video Personal Holiness in Times of Temptation http://store.walkthru.org/merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=CTGY&Store_Code=WTTB&Category_Code=PH . I have often recommended that video to any seminary student that is preparing for the pastorate or counseling. According to Bruce this is the silent plague that is destroying the church. Confidential surveys have revealed that 60 percent of the men in the pews and 40 percent in the pulpit struggle in this area.
THEOPHOSTIC
During this week God strongly prompted me to exhort a friend that was stuck in a deep and familiar rut. I said that if you had car troubles that you would somehow find a few hundred dollars to fix it. Then as a parallel, you can do what it takes to find the funds to get the Christian counseling that you know that you need. Shortly after that conversation, the Holy Sprit convicted me that the same line of logic could apply to me.
I know the experienced Theophostic counselor that I will seek to have session with. Pray for our schedules to coordinate and for God to show me how to afford this.
ANSEL ADAMS
Over the weekend I saw one of the best documentaries of my life. It was Ansel Adams: American Experience. Often during the show I cried. Here is a man that not only struggled against the odds to find and express himself, but his work had a profound impact on millions. Generally I enjoy biographical documentaries, but to hear Ansel’s words about why he did what he did added so much to the already lovely images.
This story spoke to me deeply in two ways. What keeps drawing me back to pornography like most men, is the desire for visual stimulation. The girlie magazines have photos, while the romantic novels have words. Years ago I discovered in the public library that if I spent some time enjoying the books of good photography, then I did not crave the smut. Just like when I take nutritional supplements, I do not crave junk food. I have known that for years and use technique irregularly. I enjoy the web site called Web Shots that has hundreds of thousands of pictures www.webshots.com Yet with Ansel Adams I have begun to appreciate that there is a width and depth in EACH photo that cannot be quickly dismissed. Did you know that he had been a concert pianist for many years? He said that the discipline of music helped him in his visual work. The show said that about half of the creative process occurred in the dark room where he gently enhanced the key elements of each photo.
HARNESS TECHNOLOGY
Recall that I slipped into this pit because the site for Madonna had excelled at the use to the communication technology. Likewise Ansel Adams had taken a medium to the maximum. In that way he is also my hero. I seek to both harness the web in innovate and creative ways for biblical purposes PLUS my message for the Body of Christ to WAKE UP. Get with the program and harness this AMAZING communication technology that the business world is milking for mere money.
BOTTOM LINE
Paul said that if Jesus Christ was not raised from the dead then we may as well eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die. I say that if God does not exist and the only reality is this brief lifetime, then maximizing pleasure is the most appealing ways to govern my life.
The enemy wants me to exchange the birth right of my calling for a pot of stew in the form of illicit sexual gratification.
The solution is not to run out and marry with first woman I can court-- but to press in and finally begin the next chapter of my spiritual journey by ministering audio online.
Kindly keep praying and BELIEVE God for great things.
John 10:34 PM
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