Thursday, July 08, 2004
Hold Me to It
7-8-04
I ask you to hold me accountable to follow Jesus 100%.
I have not abandoned God, my calling or the ministry.
Hopefully God is in the process of providing me with a tent making trade.
Various people have asked if I have considered working more hours.
The simple answer is YES I have considered that.
Over the last TWENTY-FIVE years I have had various fulltime jobs.
I have ministered part time while working fulltime.
That is possible yet very frustrating.
During those times the feelings of depression and despair were the worst.
For more than FIFTY months God has provided so I have had part time job.
Plus He provided several hundred dollars each month from different sources.
That brook could have dried up at ANY time for the last FOUR years.
The bills have gotten far behind in just a few months.
I would need to work more than 60 hours a week for wage to get out of this hole.
Fund raising or commission sales are not tied to the hours on the clock.
In the sovereignty of God, EcoQuest came across my path at this time.
After MUCH prayer, soul searching and talking with close friends I have decided.
This is the door God has opened and I am walking through it.
During the coming weeks and months I will be under going changes.
In order to quickly and easily earn commissions I need to FOCUS on EcoQuest.
For NOW I have set aside almost everything related to the ministry.
At this time I am reading the literature and web site.
I am talking with people and listening to tapes.
Gaining product knowledge is essential during this early stage.
By going to the national headquarters next week will improve my understanding.
I will surely come back all jacked up and ready to roll.
I will need to make practical applications of all the knowledge I had gained.
The profit margin of 250 dollars per sales means that this could add up quickly.
Ninety per cent of those that take it for a three-day trial buy.
That means that the unit sells itself.
There is no need for hype or pressure.
People pay for real benefits they want.
Others have sold with far less than half the knowledge that I already have.
I personally have a need to learn much before I talk with a stranger.
I admit that I am a research junkie.
Learning makes me high.
One image is that of a missionary going to emersion language school.
The learning is intense and it happens fast.
At some point I intend to shift ALL my focus from EcoQuest to the ministry too.
Thankfully due to answered prayers it is ready to be shared with donors now.
As I learn the skills of practical sales then that can transfer to raising funds.
Some have expressed a concern that I might get ensnared.
I appreciate the concern.
My flesh is weak and the devil is tricky.
So I ask for more prayers to protect me in those ways.
From the beginning I ask you to hold me accountable to follow Jesus 100%.
Sooner than later my heart will gravitate back to ministry.
The call of God on my life is without repentance.
The Lord Jesus Christ cannot and will not change.
His will for my life is the same today as it was in the 1970s.
I have prayed THOUSANDS of times to know the will of God.
I have genuinely and earnestly committed to do God’s will.
He is faithful to keep what I have committed unto Him.
I do not believe that the will of God is like a dot.
In that way you are perfectly in or totally out of. His will.
And that can get tricky.
Instead the image is that of a circle where there is latitude and boundaries.
Today I believe I am inside the circle.
I hope that the path I am on will remain inside the circle of His will.
Your prayers today will help to set a protective shield around me.
May God alert me to when I am about to stray outside of His circle.
My core weaknesses do not include intentional rebellion.
But I can stray just like any sheep.
I trust that even without your prayers my Good Shepherd will take care of me.
Perhaps this is a tent making trade that God will prosper for His kingdom.
The Lord has reminded me of where my father met his second wife.
She was working for an oceanic research foundation in Hawaii.
Most of their funding came from an associated tourist attraction like Sea World.
That model of a business funding a nonprofit has fascinated me.
Perhaps God is guiding me in that direction.
God has put a POWERFUL desire in me to get God’s love and truth to people.
It is like a fire shut up in my bones.
My calling involves systematically harnessing technology to do that.
Someday the fruit of thousands of hours of preparation will be on the web.
John 5:50 PM
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
RED ALERT
7-7-04
Conditions are very bad.
It could get better or worse in the coming weeks.
I need wisdom from God in how to make wise choices.
Each choice has consequences short term and long term
I will live with the outcomes.
I went to the weekly prayer meeting at my home church this morning.
There I presented an image to the pastors that suits this situation.
It is like a home right on the California coastline.
Waves have beat against the rocks between my home and the ocean.
This has gone on for YEARS.
Recently the shoreline has given way.
The home is in real danger of falling into the ocean.
This could have happened any time since 1979.
God is in control and it is happening now.
The core problem is finances again.
It is a matter of math.
The incomes had equaled the outgoes for these many years.
Recently the incomes have decreased.
The bills stayed the same.
So the past due items have quickly gotten worse.
The creditors are calling.
They want their payments.
The part time paycheck was put into the bank on last Friday.
It went to pay off the most pressing needs.
Now there is nearly none left in the bank account.
I transferred all but 2 dollars from my saving account to cover bills.
I am going to deposit a small donation gift later today.
Another one is in the mail.
I have lived one day at a time like this through various seasons before.
But it has NEVER been this bad.
I cannot predict or control donations.
Like I told the pastors today I see only two options.
I can quickly get on the fund raising trail and bring in big bucks.
That was my only hope until recently.
If I had the courage today I could just go do that, but I do not.
I have hit that wall many times before.
It has defeated me again.
God brought this other option into my life.
I have been exploring EcoQuest a two weeks.
The more that I examine the product and company the more I like both.
I have talking with one man that has been doing this for a few months.
He is doing very well and in fact much better than his other businesses..
Another man that I talked with last night has been doing it for years.
He has much insight and understanding.
He has offered to lead me so that I do not make foolish mistakes.
Emotionally these days have been difficult.
As I pray and seek God EcoQuest is the ONLY thing that comes to my mind.
I would not have considered it except that the money pressures are so bad.
In order to get my tail out of this crack I MUST go for it 100 per cent.
Otherwise I am at real risk of eviction.
I could become homeless like those I serve on Sunday mornings downtown.
So next week Thursday to Sunday I am going to the company training.
It is at their headquarters in Greenville Tennessee.
The cost is tiny because I will be going with others.
I asked a friend in my small group to work with me during these days.
He has been poor before and is no more.
He is on top of money management like few others I know.
I will today send him a record of where I am at financially.
For months I had sent out a week money report to accountability partners.
But recently I have slacked off from that.
Like I told my friend it was getting to where I was starting to not open the bills.
I recall that last fall I slid off into Internet pornography.
After prayers God delivered me and has kept me from that deadly swamp.
My hope is in God to deliver me again.
I am thankful that the apartment management has been so flexible with me.
Thankfully the June rent was paid at the end of June.
Today I am not sure when and where the July rent will be paid.
Yet I trust that God will provide right on time.
Pray for my relationship with the managers Ray and Joyce.
May God continue to grant me favor with the owner Ken.
John 11:55 AM
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